Estimated reading time: 9 minutes
From the lack of sleep when parenting a new born, to taking on the notorious teenage years. As your child grows up, parents face challenges at every turn. But which age range is the most challenging for parents?
In this post, I discuss some of the common challenges certain age ranges pose. However, this post is all about getting the feedback from other parents out there! You will find below a comments section for you to share more of your thoughts and stories.
I want to hear from as many of you as possible. I want to hear your opinions and stories, to see which age range emerges as the most challenging for parents.
1. Newborn (0-2).
One of the happiest times of parent’s lives, the birth of your newborn child. For new parents, this can be a time of excitement, nerves and anticipation of what is to come. For experienced parents, these feelings can be the same. However, they may have the knowledge of some of the challenges that await!
Parenting a newborn can present a number of challenges. I have experienced my own fair share with my child, which you can read about here. However, every child is different and each comes with their own unique personality and ways of challenging their parent.
At the newborn phase, it almost a given that you are going to get less sleep. Newborns will usually wake once or twice through the night for a feed. Meaning as a parent, you are getting less sleep every night, every day, week after week, until the night feed is dropped. This can be a shock to the system for a new parent, it certainly was for me! Dependent on your personal/family circumstances, you could be sharing this responsibility or having to do it all yourself. Either way, a toll is taken on parents as it can become increasingly hard to function day after day, with a lack of sleep.
Colic.
Another challenge parents of newborns can face, is if your child has Colic. Unfortunately, my little girl had this and it well and truly broke me as a parent. Every day, between the hours of 4pm-10pm, our little girl would cry and cry, non-stop for that whole time. We searched online and spoke to health professionals, but nothing we tried would help sooth her. I completely understand why using the sound of a baby crying, is used as a torture tactic. It works. After almost 7 hours of this one night, I broke down crying myself!
A lot of challenges faced at the newborn phase can be unique to your personal/family circumstances. Are you a first time parent? Are you a single parent? Do you have a lot of family support? These different types of situations can impact how much of a challenge is faced. However, there is no doubt that this time can present a lot of challenges for parents.
But is this the most difficult age range to parent? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
2. Toddlers (2-5).
Ever heard of the expression “ The terrible two’s”? The toddler age range can infamously be a time in which our young children start to test boundaries, and their parent’s patience! However, this significant developmental age can also bring a lot of positives as the child learns to communicate, show affection and understand the world around them. But are these positives enough to balance the challenge that toddlers can pose?
I currently have a toddler myself, so writing this section has been particularly relevant for me! I have also recently written my 10 most/least enjoyable parts of parenting a toddler, which you can read here if you wish.
Tantrums.
TANTRUMS, TANTRUMS and more TANTRUMS! I am going to put myself out there and say that if you are a parent of a toddler, you may well have seen your child have one or two tantrums. I have to say that I count myself quite fortunate that my little girl doesn’t have a huge amount of tantrums…so far! However, I have worked with a number of parents with toddlers, who face this challenge day in day out. These tantrums can be unpredictable, excessive and long lasting. Due to their level of understanding at this age, they cannot easily be talked out of them. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, your toddler can explode into a tantrum at any moment for any reason. Public meltdowns being the absolute pinnacle of the toddler tantrums!
Around this age, these children are just developing their language skills. Their use of speech and comprehending others can sometimes be hit and miss. This presents a challenge for parents, when a child is not understanding a situation or something you are telling them. Usually, this will frustrate the child, which ultimately leads to this frustration coming out through their behaviour.
My own toddler.
A personal example, was that recently I was putting on my little girl’s coat as we were leaving the house. When doing so, I mentioned that it was raining and outside and that the ground was wet. My little girl then took that to mean that the coat itself was wet, therefore started to refuse to put it on. She collapsed to the floor, was rolling around and shouting “Wet”, over and over. I’m not going to lie, I didn’t see that coming.
What challenges have you faced when parenting a toddler? Do you think it is the most difficult age range to parent? Let me know in the comments below.
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3. Young child (5-13).
They have started school, are becoming increasingly independent and more willing to share their displeasure with you! Across this wider age range, children have more independence and separation from parents, as they start school and begin forming friendships. To the child, parents can sometimes become barriers for them, which often can lead to behaviours that challenge and extra pressure on parents as a result.
How many parents out there have been faced with their young child asking for a new toy, new item of clothing or new device, because their friends have them? Around these ages, children and parents become exposed to more social pressures, as children strive to fit in and form relationships with their peers. In doing so, conflict can emerge between what parents want and what the child wants. These types of situations can put parents in difficult positions, as parents would love their child to fit in with their peers, however, it can clash with the morals, beliefs or desires we have as parents.
Ultimately, our children couldn’t care less about the views of their parent at this age, nor do they see the bigger picture, as they are not yet at that level of maturity. As a result, this can lead to many children around these ages displaying immature behaviours, or excessively emotional behaviours.
Have you found this age range particularly challenging? If so, why? Let me know in the comments below.
4. Teenager (13-16).
The notorious “Teenage Years”.
Hormones are ranging, relationships are chopping and changing. The teenage years is synonymous with mood swings, laziness and emotional behaviour. For some children, this can start and end pretty quickly. For others, it can be a long drawn out battle! Over this period, communicating with your teenager can be increasingly challenging, as they believe they are now adults and know everything! I have recently written a post on understanding your teenager, which can be read here if you are interested.
Challenge for parents across this age range can vary. Teenagers can present as being lazy, unresponsive or even unhygienic. Furthermore, you may find teenagers become increasingly experimental and appear to take more risks. All of which are behaviours that can frustrate parents, as they witness their child start to push back and communicate less with them.
Feeling grown up.
It can also becoming increasingly difficult to manage behaviours around this age, especially as teenagers usually go through growth spurts and start to look like adults themselves and become more physically imposing. This all feeds into a teenagers feeling of being more grown up and that they should not have rules and restrictions placed upon them.
If this is the case for yourself, I have put together a helpful post discussing effective consequences, which you can read here.
Of course, not all teenagers challenge parents this way. But this period in a child’s life does present its fair share of challenges for many parents. My feeling is that teenagers can often just be misunderstood. When you work with a teenager, you need to communicate in ways that they understand and start treating them more as the young adults they are becoming. If you do so, you often can have a lot more success.
Has parenting a teenager been the most difficult age range you have parented?
5. Young adult (16-18).
The final years before your child becomes an adult themselves. At this age, your child will be leaving school, starting college or employment and starting to push for more and more freedoms. You would expect around some more maturity to start coming through around this age, however, this is not always the case. Your child may start to think they have already turned 18 and be tempted into ignoring rules or even experimenting with alcohol or drugs. I know having worked with a lot of these parents, that this can create a huge amount of worry and anxiety.
Transitions.
Transitional times in a child’s life often bring about change in behaviours at any age. Finishing school and thinking about college or employment, signifies a big step forward towards adulthood. Some children are mature enough to deal with this transition and embrace it positively. Others, may relish in being free of the school restrictions they are used to and try to make the most of it.
Similar to teenagers, challenging behaviours as a parent can be a tough at this age. 16/17 year olds can already feel like adults and begin to buy into the idea that their parents no longer have a say over what they can/can’t do.
This age range is short, however, it can also be a time in which parents can face some significant challenges as they witness their child transition into adulthood.
Have you faced any significant challenges with your child at this age range? Do you think it is the most difficult?
Summary.
I have worked with parents of children across all these age ranges and have seen first-hand the challenges each age range poses. In most cases, the challenges are unique to the specific circumstances the family face. However, there are some common themes that run through the age ranges. Therefore, it is interesting to get the feedback for parents out there, and to see what the majority of parents thinks it the most challenging age range to parent.
(This post contains links from affiliates of this blog. If you make a purchase via the links, you will get a discount and I will earn a small commission at no extra cost to yourself. So everybody wins! All affiliate links will be labelled as such)
This is an informative post about the different age ranges. I chose age 2-5 purely due to the public meltdowns – they don’t get any easier. I feel there’s a mini teenager in my 8 year old too but she will listen to reason. Thanks for sharing. Jade MumLifeAndMe