“My potty training battle” – Evelyn’s Diaries

It has been a very different week for me this week. The reason being, that I have been subjected to something called “potty training”. In the blink of an eye, all my nappies are gone!

For anyone who doesn’t know, a potty is a little toilet for little people. But this toilet can be moved around the house and taken to lots of different places. Apparently, I am meant to start doing my number 1’s and number 2’s in the potty. Disgusting I know.

What is suddenly wrong with nappies? Why were they ok one minute, then the next minute I am wearing little pants and when I do a wee, it goes everywhere! I am not cleaning it up, I am telling you that now!

My Mammy decided to take a week off work to start potty training with me. “Training me”…like I am some sort of naughty puppy. You don’t “train” Evelyn, Evelyn trains herself!

Over the course of this week I have tried and tested a range of strategies to avoid potty training. I am not going to just sit back and be trained like I have no say in what goes on in my life. So as a result, I have come up with my own 3 step plan of “How to Avoid Potty Training”.

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Step 1 – Give no warning…let it all go!

When you are being potty trained, your Mammy or Daddy will be watching you like a hawk. Constantly asking if you need a wee or need a poo. They are hoping that they catch you in time to take you to the potty or the toilet, so you can do your business there.

However, my counter to this plan was to give no warning and let all the wee’s and poo’s go as soon as possible. I had a lot of success early on. I was able to time it so as soon as I was taken off the toilet and put back in my clothes, I would let it all go. Watching my Mammy and Daddy’s faces when I did this was priceless.

Step 2 – When the pants are off…run!

I have found out that when you are being potty trained, you spend a lot more time with your clothes off. This is a dangerous time for the Mammy’s and Daddy’s, as I could have a wee or a poo at any moment and get it all over the floor.

This an opportunity to be seized. Therefore, when you feel that fresh air hitting your bottom, it is time to get those legs working and make a run for it! Run as hard and as fast as you can and listen out for the cries of panic from your parents as they chase you.

Step 3 – Pick your moment, pick your place!

Potty training is like a game of chess. Sometimes you need to plan your moves in advance and know what your opponent is trying to do. After getting all your pieces in place, you then wait for the perfect moment to strike!

Applying this to potty training was easy for me. There are certain places when your Mammy and Daddy really don’t want you to go to the toilet. On furniture, in the car, whilst sat on their lap…guess what, I did wee’s in all of these places. Do you want to know another thing? It was hilarious and I am going to do it again.

So those are my three steps to avoiding potty training. Stick to these steps and you may just have a chance of getting those nappies back. Hope may be lost for me in this regard, as it appears that the nappies are gone forever and my life is now all about toilets and pants.

However, there may still be hope for you…save yourselves if you can!!

Evelyn x

Previous diary – “My nursery transition day” – Evelyn’s Diaries – 22nd June 2023

Next diary – “I am taking over!” – Evelyn’s Diaries – 7th July 2023

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