Estimated reading time: 12 minutes
Finding ways to bond with your child, isn’t always the simplest of tasks. For some, finding the right activities, or even finding the time to bond with your child can feel like an immense challenge. However, this bonding time can make a massive difference when it comes to forming healthy and positive relationships within the family. Therefore, it is so important that parents try to find ways and time to spend with their children.
This bonding time does not always have to be expensive or lavish trips or activities with your child. Children can really benefit from just having simple and frequent time spent in the company of their parents. This is the case for children of all ages. Furthermore, many families are experiencing significant financial hardship at the moment, which is a further restricting activity options for families.
As a result, I wanted to put together a simple list of ideas of different bonding activities that can be done with children across different age ranges and of varying levels of need. All activities listed below are suggestions I have given to families that I have worked with in the past. Suggestions which have resulted in improved relationships within these families.
1. Imaginary Play.
An activity that may be more relevant for younger children, but allocating some time to join in and involve yourself with your child’s imaginary play, can be a lovely and bonding experience for you and your child.
They may be pretend cooking for you. Pretending to cut your hair or even pretending to clean the house (as my toddler likes to do). Regardless, it is an opportunity for some shared play that may not even last too long. No matter how long it lasts, young children love having others share and join in with their play. It promotes their use of imagination, creativity, sharing and most importantly, promotes that positive, warm and engaging relationship between parent and child.
I can speak for myself in saying that sometimes when my little girl is in her own world and playing, I see it as an opportunity to relax and have some time for myself. However, as I have started to join in with her play more and more, I have now found that when I sit down to relax, she will come up to me to invite me to join in with her play. It is a reminder to me of how much she enjoys it and it is important to her that I share this time with her.
2. Drawing/Colouring.
A bonding activity that can be loved by children and adults alike. It can allow children to be creative, express their personalities/imagination and for adults, it can even be quite therapeutic!
Shared activities like colouring or drawing, can have a range of benefits and can be completed in a number of different ways. You can use colouring books, draw pictures from scratch, create paintings or even create images using cut and stick methods. Children with Special Educational Needs (SEND) in particular may find this activity very calming.
Regardless of how this activity is completed together, it creates a fantastic opportunity for conversations and discussion. It is a strategy I often use when completing any direct work with young people as part of my job.
Whenever I would need to speak with a child to gather their thoughts, wishes or feelings, many children will be shy or reserved and not share too much if I were to just speak with them and ask questions. However, if I pull out some pens/paper and start drawing together, children feel more at ease and free speak openly and honestly about how they feel.
This can be really helpful for parents. It creates an opportunity to check in with your child and find out more about how they are feeling. These conversations build trust, increase the levels of communication and importantly, the comfort level the child has in confiding and expressing themselves to their parents.
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3. Cooking/Baking.
Another bonding activity that can be undertaken with children across age ranges. Cooking or baking together not only serves as positive bonding time, but also introduces some key life skills.
With the appropriate supervision, this can be an activity that is done with younger children. So long as they are supervised and supported, young children could learn how to chop or mix ingredients and how the cooking/baking process works. In turn this can help in developing their coordination and motor skills, as well as being an excellent opportunity for communication skills to be built between parent and child.
With older children, this activity becomes more of an essential life skill that can be developed. The added benefit being an excellent bonding activity that can further develop your child’s independence at the same time as your relationship.
4. Building/Constructing.
A bonding activity that may require a little bit more preparation or thought, however, activities in which you work together with your child to build or construct something, can be an enjoyable experience to share together.
These activities can be as short or long as you wish. For example, you may simply want to build a “Pillow Fort” together. Gathering all the cushions/pillows you can find and let your child’s imagination do the rest. Alternatively, you may go down a more creative route of providing a range of items found around the home, and set a task of building something. I remember in primary school we were given a range of different household items and were set a project to build a car, we absolutely loved it! Another option for older children, may be purchasing something to construct together. This may be a long term project you have together, which creates a lot of opportunities over time to spend together.
These types of activities can be quick an easy, or more in depth and for the longer term. Regardless, they provide an excellent alternative activity that can be fun, inventive, puzzling and hopefully fun for you all!
5. Household Chores.
Now bear with me on this, I know you may be raising an eyebrow when reading this!
I will admit straight away that this may not be a suggestion that works for everyone. However, there have been a number of examples from families I have worked with who have been able to turn household chores into fun bonding activities with children. This may require you to be a little more creative in your approach. However, if achieved it can be a highly productive way of both spending time with your child and getting some jobs done around the home!
Some examples of this include; washing the car (turning it into a water fight), turning a chore into a race/competition or giving your child additional/new responsibilities (e.g. prepping food for cooking or assist in grocery shopping).
As mentioned, this may not be right for you and your child. However, there have been a number of examples of children who get a lot of enjoyment in helping parents complete what they see as very “adult tasks”.
6. Sports/Physical Activities.
The benefits of physical activity on our health and wellbeing is well documented. So it can be really positive to find opportunities to engage in sport or physical activity with your child. Not only is it physically and mentally healthy for us to do so, it also creates good habits for your children and help identify and establish similar interests.
This could be playing sports in the bedroom, garden or local sports centre. Finding a sport or activity that both parent and child enjoy, is a great way of bonding and building your relationships. Dependent on your child, they may just simply enjoy taking part, other children may enjoy some healthy competition against their parents!
This activity may involve some cost or extra planning if you are going out of the house to do so. However, there are ways you can create your own version of activities or sports, that can be completed in the home or in the garden at less of a cost if you wish.
7. Movie Night.
One of my favourite things to do, is to get a selection of treats and snacks, sit back, relax and enjoy a good movie. If you are the same, there is no reason why this cannot become a regular family bonding activity.
Whilst this time together is not an activity in which you are actively engaged in what each other are doing, it is still a really positive time in which your child can feel close to you. Similar to drawing/colouring, it can create opportunities for discussion and conversation. If used tactically, parents can use storylines or points in TV/Films as good conversation starters with their own children. For example, if you are watching a film in which a group of friends have an argument, you could ask your child if their group of friends ever fall out like that? Or even ask how your child would handle a particular situation? There can be a lot of teaching/learning moments that come off the back of time spent watching TV/Films together, for parents and children.
8. Playing Video Games.
This is a shared bonding activity that I have seen a lot of children really enjoy. It is becoming increasingly common for children to be attached to various forms of electronic devices, whether that be phones, tablets or games consoles. Alongside this attachment, usually comes a form of gaming.
When playing games, children immerse themselves in a whole other world, with people they know and people they don’t know. For many parents, this can often be a part of their child’s life they know little about. However, this does not have to be the case.
If you have a child that spends a lot of time on video games and you find it hard to find opportunities to spend time with them. Why not share in something that they thoroughly enjoy? In most cases, children will be the experts in the games they play when compared to their parents. However, for the children, this is a really enticing aspect of gaming with their parents. Children are brought up with adults around them usually in positions to win at most games they play if they want to. In this instance, the tables are turned and the children know it. Children can take a lot of satisfaction at being superior and watching their parents struggle!
Should you be able to tolerate the games your child plays and the likelihood of your child revelling in your struggle, this can be a way of spending some bonding time together. In addition, you will be able to learn more about the gaming world your child is immersed in and importantly ensure that it is safe and appropriate for them.
9. Board Games.
It is still a tradition in our family at Christmas time to get the board games out and play Monopoly. Full or arguments, debates, betrayal and the competitive drive from all to win, it remains one of the events in the year I look forward to the most. Despite the arguments, this is a fun and bonding experience we all share each year.
In the digital age we now live in, board games may not be the most appealing option to children. However, it remains a viable option of bringing the family together to share in some fun and games. Dependent on the game, it may be something you are able to play at a moment’s notice with a child, or maybe you have a planned game night once a week. However you choose to implement it, board games remain a really enjoyable option and way of getting the family together.
10. Reading.
Again, this may be something that is utilised more with younger children in particular. However, reading together can be both an excellent bonding activity. This as well as a helpful skill developing activity for your child. It is something that we do with our little girl each night. She has her bath, gets ready for bed and we end the day by reading a book together. She thoroughly enjoys it and we have been able to see over time how she is able to recognise characters and understand the stories more and more. All whilst spending time together in the process.
Reading together can be something you do for 10minutes or do for an hour. Usually this is dependent on their age, types of books read and time you have available. Making reading together part of your everyday routine, enables you to have that regular time allocated for just you and your child. It helps develop their reading skills and creates opportunities for discussion and shared enjoyment.
Summary.
In summary, children benefit immensely from simply getting to spend time with their parents. It does not always need to be paid for, time consuming or substantial. Simply being with your child, allocating time to them on a regular basis and enjoying this time together meets those key emotional needs our children have.
In this difficult time for families, we are needing to come up with more and more creative methods of entertaining our children. Whilst spending all your time with your child may be great in an ideal world, the reality is that as parents we have to balance a number of responsibilities. The ideas above are all ideas I have seen work with a range of families over the years. They are also relatively simple, straight forward and can be implemented quickly. It may take your child some time to get used to new activities if what you try is something new. But don’t lose faith and remember what you are trying to achieve. My hope is that this post helps other parents out there who may be finding it tough to bond or spend time with their child.
Question for the comments: What are your favourite bonding activities to do with your child(ren)?
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My son’s now at the age where he does baking himself, although it is nice to make a meal together. We used to sit down and colour together in his big doodle book. I reckon he’d still like that now age 11
Yeah cooking and baking seem to be really popular with children and it’s great like with your son, when they have learned to do it by themselves!
Great post! My daughter is still only 6 months but my husband and I can’t wait to do movie nights with her!
Yeah our little girl is still too young to pay attention to a full film, but she is lasting longer and longer, which means longer cuddles!
All of these ideas sound wonderful; perfect opportunities for those who have children to spend some time bonding with them. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you!
My mother liked doing these activities with me when I was a child. In fact, we are still doing some these activities now. I’m grateful.
That’s great! I think it’s lovely when some of these activities continue into adulthood.
Such great bonding activities. I would say we build something everyday (we are at the Lego Duplo stage!). And we also love colouring together.
We are yet to reach the Lego stage but I am certainly looking forward to it!
These are great bonding activities. We do most of these with our toddler. Thankfully she can now watch a film with us, as her attention span is better.