Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
Children are often the experts
Nowadays, social media is such an integrated part of children’s lives, that they are often the experts on how to use them. I am sure many of us will relate to a time in which a child has had to show us how to use a social media app. This generation of children have been brought up using technology. As a result, social media is now the primary method of communication between children. The addictive nature of these apps can have a significant impact on children, which is what we will explore further in this post.
How much do we actually know about what children are doing on social media?
It is becoming an increasingly common sight to see children, especially older children and teenagers, sat with a phone in hand immersed. However, as parents, do we always know what they are actually doing? Who they are speaking to? What do we know about the apps they use?
When I was younger, social media only started to come into society in my teenage years. MSN, Myspace and Bebo were some social media platforms that emerged around that time. I feel lucky to have had a blend of a childhood with and without social media. Nowadays, many parents have grown up using Facebook, subsequently, more and more platforms started to emerge. However, platforms like Facebook are not being used as much by this generation of children. Newer and more interesting platforms have emerged, which I and many other parents have no idea how to use, or understand what they are used for.
The dangers of social media apps.
I recently completed a “Social Media in the Digital Age” training course as part of my job. This course spoke in depth about social media and the impact it has on children. Having a child myself, it was both very informative and absolutely terrifying.
Each year, thousands of new social media apps try to cut through the market. Each of these apps will have its own unique selling point, some of which you will not actually believe. There are apps out there today that are marketed as, “Tinder for kids”. Furthermore, another app allows you to make a link to another person, so every time you take a photo on your phone, it instantly appears on the other person’s phone screen.
Does your child have the Roblox app? It is a very popular social and gaming app with children, with other 500million app downloads. It would be easy to assume that it is a safe app for children to use. However, on my training course, we were informed that this app can be edited and re-designed by anyone. A story was shared on the course that on Roblox, children had been exposed to a modified version which involved characters in the game engaging in sexual acts with one another.
Social media apps can be made safe with the correct security settings, but try to do your homework on what apps your child is using and how to keep them safe.
The social impact on children.
I have worked with countless families and parents over the years, who have cited that their child is having issues them stem from social media. This could be cyber bulling, addiction to their phones or children isolating themselves in their room.
“Most photos posted will have been taken a hundred times, before then being edited and posted. What does that do to a child’s self-image?”
However, I feel that there is a common issue that is not as widely thought about, especially amongst parents. Across social media, there is a culture of quantifying your popularity. How many likes does my post get? Did I get many comments? How many followers/friends do I have? These are all questions that play on the mind of children, especially in a world where your social standing is everything; this creates pressure on everything you post. The higher your numbers, the more popular you are.
As a result, this can drive children to look for ways to increase these numbers. Children will often accept and send friend requests to anyone and everyone, having thousands of friends. Who are these “friends”? Most photos posted will have been taken a hundred times, before then being edited and posted. What does that do to a child’s self-image? Most scarily amongst girls and young woman, there is a culture being created of having to show more of your body, to increase likes and comments. Therefore, this pressure to increase social status, can create an addiction, can lead to cyber bullying and inevitably leads to isolation as their whole social world is online.
Are adults any better?
“How would you feel if posted a picture of yourself or your family and nobody liked or commented on it?”
We as adults are the same. As a thought exercise, answer the following questions to yourself…honestly:
How would you feel if posted a picture of yourself or your family and nobody liked or commented on it? Would you question your appearance/the photo? Would you delete the post?
Do you frequently check a post after posting it?
Have you ever posted anything with the goal of just getting likes?
I will be honest and say I can answer yes to all. Questions like this made me realise that I am falling into that culture of constantly trying to appear, better or more exciting. For a child, this culture can be toxic.
Consequently, the difference with children is that they do not have the resilience to be able to deal with this pressure. In addition, a huge part of their social life is based on what they do online and what they post. Even if posts are deleted, they can be screenshotted and re-circulated, in many ways there is no escape from social media.
Supporting your child in using social media.
“Children rarely go knock on the door of their friends anymore. If a child arrived at a friend’s door uninvited, this would likely be considered strange nowadays!”
Social media is now an inevitable part of most children’s lives. Furthermore, avoiding social media as a parenting tactic is challenging, as in many respects, by doing this you are isolating them from their friends. Children rarely go knock on the door of their friends anymore. If a child arrived at a friend’s door uninvited, this would likely be considered strange nowadays! Therefore, I feel the best approach is to establish clear guidelines and boundaries around social media use, as well as educating your child over time of the risks and realities of social media.
Agree with your child, which apps are allowed to be used, ensure security settings are appropriate, agree a level of parental supervision over what is posted and most importantly, pay attention to what apps are being used do your homework on them! Over time, trust can be built and more freedom and control can be transferred to the child.
The conundrum of social media.
Social media can give you an unrealistic view of the world and the people around you. My hope is drip-feed this message to my daughter as she gets older. Furthermore, getting likes and comments, or the amount of friends you have is not indicative of who you are. However, I also understand the importance social media will play in her life. Convincing children of these messages on the other hand, will not be easy. However, it is our job as parents to safeguard them from the risks they cannot see. To do that, we need to always have our eyes open as parents.
Question for the comments: Are you worried about the impact of social media on children? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
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